okay, so today i was essentially hired to be the rehearsal and concert pianist for the opera and oratorio ensemble on campus. a good thing, right?
well, im not so sure. i had secretly been hoping that i would only be hired to play during rehearsals.
pj, lea, andy? anyone else? all you musicians that ive worked with know that i am scared to death of performing, when it comes down to it. at music in the parks, my hands were shaking so bad i could barely warm up the choir for their performance.
this summer, at the wedding gig i played, i could barely squeeze out a simple two line rendition of pachabel's cannon without going into hysterics.
the thing is, ive performed many, many times. yet, i never seem to have overcome my stagefright. yes, i did sing at gene's gig, but that was sort of different... i wasnt the one keeping things moving. singers have it easy, really.
so anyway, back to this job. ive basically been hired. i just have to tell her yes. i even get paid for doing it. yet, when she tells me that yes, i do have to also play at their performances in april, suddenly im not so sure that my risk-taking skills are up to par. what do you think?  ¶ 20:55