when is it going to be my turn to find love again? ive spent the last 1, 2, 3, 4 years of my life in romantic limbo, in love but not in public, in public but not in love, loving but not around others, no love but let's pretend anyway. loving across thousands of miles, loving over the phone but not face to face. speaking of love but not feeling it, feeling love but not speaking of it. not loving at first sight, but rather out of sight. no loving in reality but only in fantasy, no love allowed because its just a fantasy, love as a rational emotion. pretending to love when its lust, lusting when its love, and then in the end trying loving myself because its the right thing to do but not because it doesnt feel right.