it's all talk
3.05.2004
life is moving at a low-pitched hum lately. this week, i was reminded of:
*how denim cuffs feel against bare ankles;
*what it's like to not be the best at everything;
*the incredible luck i have to be my age and in this country, and how our reasons for cynicism and anger pale in comparison to others' (for two separate histories, of two different times and places);
*the fact that many of my classmates are graduating in 7 weeks (excluding the two weeks of spring break);
*what fog and rain and can smell like when they're done just right.
i haven't felt like i've had much to say lately. either i'm just stuck in a rut, or i'm finally reaching a level of maturity that recognizes the futility of trying to make something of nothing.
i check out madpony about once a week. it's a guilty pleasure, akin to reading cosmo while waiting for my sandwich at atticus or secretly downloading sex and the city episodes off of the school computing network; the paranoia that accompanies these activities reflects a larger feminine/feminist dichotomy that many people, especially at wesleyan, view as inherently incompatible. but i like hearing someone talk about their shoes sometimes. the slides from kristin's trip to europe is also worth checking out while you're there.
i guess this is all part of this larger ongoing discussion yaron and i have been having regarding what makes people "human." we don't talk about dehumanization in the terms that most social literary theorists mean; we simply mean to say that there are some people who become such caricatures of themselves that they cease to exist as normal human beings. like the "tragically hip." i dunno. neither yaron nor i feel like we go to college anymore, since we're both so absorbed in our research and work and jobs and eating out and waking early and dressing maturely... walking to class on wednesday after taking lunch at home, i was surprised to see nearly all of wes basking in the sun and playing frisbee on the lawn outside of the campus center. humans. huh.
but spring break is here, as of today. i've been watching max take his trash back and forth from next door to the dumpster for the last 10 minutes or so. some of the traverse kids are playing with a balloon near the doorsteps. i could go back to bed, but i feel like i'm getting too old for that to be acceptable behavior. i'd go for a walk, but i've really got nowhere to go.
¶ 14:15
*how denim cuffs feel against bare ankles;
*what it's like to not be the best at everything;
*the incredible luck i have to be my age and in this country, and how our reasons for cynicism and anger pale in comparison to others' (for two separate histories, of two different times and places);
*the fact that many of my classmates are graduating in 7 weeks (excluding the two weeks of spring break);
*what fog and rain and can smell like when they're done just right.
i haven't felt like i've had much to say lately. either i'm just stuck in a rut, or i'm finally reaching a level of maturity that recognizes the futility of trying to make something of nothing.
i check out madpony about once a week. it's a guilty pleasure, akin to reading cosmo while waiting for my sandwich at atticus or secretly downloading sex and the city episodes off of the school computing network; the paranoia that accompanies these activities reflects a larger feminine/feminist dichotomy that many people, especially at wesleyan, view as inherently incompatible. but i like hearing someone talk about their shoes sometimes. the slides from kristin's trip to europe is also worth checking out while you're there.
i guess this is all part of this larger ongoing discussion yaron and i have been having regarding what makes people "human." we don't talk about dehumanization in the terms that most social literary theorists mean; we simply mean to say that there are some people who become such caricatures of themselves that they cease to exist as normal human beings. like the "tragically hip." i dunno. neither yaron nor i feel like we go to college anymore, since we're both so absorbed in our research and work and jobs and eating out and waking early and dressing maturely... walking to class on wednesday after taking lunch at home, i was surprised to see nearly all of wes basking in the sun and playing frisbee on the lawn outside of the campus center. humans. huh.
but spring break is here, as of today. i've been watching max take his trash back and forth from next door to the dumpster for the last 10 minutes or so. some of the traverse kids are playing with a balloon near the doorsteps. i could go back to bed, but i feel like i'm getting too old for that to be acceptable behavior. i'd go for a walk, but i've really got nowhere to go.
¶ 14:15
3.01.2004
Amy's March 1 Resolution:
I will not overcommit myself ever again as long as i live.
Okay. Good. I needed to see that written down.
Amy's March 1 Resolution, part deux:
I am not going to say "yes" to everyone because I feel like I owe them something. I don't owe them anything.
Phew. That's better.
Amy's March 1 Resolution, The Last:
I will study for statistics. I will.
-----------
Okay. I'm off to propose my thesis to my potential advisor (augh!). ¶ 13:03
I will not overcommit myself ever again as long as i live.
Okay. Good. I needed to see that written down.
Amy's March 1 Resolution, part deux:
I am not going to say "yes" to everyone because I feel like I owe them something. I don't owe them anything.
Phew. That's better.
Amy's March 1 Resolution, The Last:
I will study for statistics. I will.
-----------
Okay. I'm off to propose my thesis to my potential advisor (augh!). ¶ 13:03
