it's all talk
2.21.2003
http://www.seven.co.nz/quicktime/video.html
highly entertaining. thanks, ian.
also, i promise that someday this site will look pretty again. really. someday. ¶ 19:52
highly entertaining. thanks, ian.
also, i promise that someday this site will look pretty again. really. someday. ¶ 19:52
2.20.2003
i blacked out twice today before my 10:30 am class. once in the shower. the second time, i barely made it to my bed before i just keeled over and lost consciousness.
this is no metaphor for some traumatic event. this IS the traumatic event.
im serious.
the first time, i headed to the bathroom for my morning routing, and after what seemed like an eternity, i found myself lying in the shower, water running, conditioner still in hair. i picked myself up, but instantly became disoriented again, started losing my vision, and control... i remember rinsing my hair and rushing out of the bathroom, soaking wet, and blind, dizzy, terrified... i was shaking badly and couldnt remember where the three stairs down to my room were (the bathroom in this house is a mere 6 paces from my door, by the way, which makes the fact that i couldnt find it even scarier), so i was clinging to the walls for support. after i woke up the second time, facedown in my pillow and wrapped in my towel, i found my shampoo and one shower flipflop lying in the hallway. my toothbrush was strewn on the floor of the bathroom.
it makes me a little worried about my health, about what could be going on internally that i just dont know about. disease's ultimate power over human beings lies in its discreet ways... pronouncements of "good health" based upon superficial judgments often mean nothing.
anyway, i was 5 minutes late to class, but made my body endure the walk, to the dismay of my roommate. everyone today has commented on how pale i look, and ive had trouble with coherency, both mental and verbal. this day has just dragged on, and i'm moving and reacting just as slowly... i dont remember talking to people at the campus center during lunchtime, although they say that i did.
...help? ¶ 18:10
this is no metaphor for some traumatic event. this IS the traumatic event.
im serious.
the first time, i headed to the bathroom for my morning routing, and after what seemed like an eternity, i found myself lying in the shower, water running, conditioner still in hair. i picked myself up, but instantly became disoriented again, started losing my vision, and control... i remember rinsing my hair and rushing out of the bathroom, soaking wet, and blind, dizzy, terrified... i was shaking badly and couldnt remember where the three stairs down to my room were (the bathroom in this house is a mere 6 paces from my door, by the way, which makes the fact that i couldnt find it even scarier), so i was clinging to the walls for support. after i woke up the second time, facedown in my pillow and wrapped in my towel, i found my shampoo and one shower flipflop lying in the hallway. my toothbrush was strewn on the floor of the bathroom.
it makes me a little worried about my health, about what could be going on internally that i just dont know about. disease's ultimate power over human beings lies in its discreet ways... pronouncements of "good health" based upon superficial judgments often mean nothing.
anyway, i was 5 minutes late to class, but made my body endure the walk, to the dismay of my roommate. everyone today has commented on how pale i look, and ive had trouble with coherency, both mental and verbal. this day has just dragged on, and i'm moving and reacting just as slowly... i dont remember talking to people at the campus center during lunchtime, although they say that i did.
...help? ¶ 18:10
